I’ve been thinking about this poem by Wendell Berry this week–which reminds me that all we need is right here:
Geese appear high over us,
pass, and the sky closes. Abandon,
as in love or sleep, holds
them to their way, clear
in the ancient faith: what we need
is here. And we pray, not
for new earth or heaven, but to be
quiet in heart, and in eye,
clear. What we need is here.
All we need
This has been an exhausting week for me–a good week mostly, but just tiring. Last Saturday I had CPR and first aid training plus I had an index due today on top of my regular part-time job. The days grow cooler and shorter. I love walking in the cool mornings, seeing hints of red and gold beginning to weave through the grasses and trees. I don’t see as many birds now as I did just a few weeks ago when I wrote about the killdeer and other magical creatures.
I’ve been busy, but I think what really wore me out is the dentist. Now that I’m living in Loveland, I have to find new health care providers (and someone to cut my hair and take care of my car, too). I had wonderful people in Chicago who cared for me (and my car). Even though I’m really happy to be here, it was hard to leave them behind.
The dentist rag
I made my first visit to a dentist recommended by a friend earlier this week. It’s been six months since my last checkup, but I’ve been going every 4 months because I’ve had so much trouble with my teeth.
Anyhow, the hygienist was lovely and they had a screen on the ceiling where I could watch a movie of life under the sea. But when I tried to explain to the dentist about my autoimmune challenges, I felt like he didn’t really take me seriously. In spite of my doubts, he convinced me to try this high fluoride toothpaste. Unfortunately, it made me feel terrible. I think that the artificial sweeteners caused the problem, but I’m not sure. I had a fever throughout that night and have just felt really tired since then. And discouraged–even though it’s been only 6 months, I’ve managed to develop 3 cavities (thus the dentist’s prescription).
Like it or not, my health is somewhat delicate. And even though I don’t like to talk about it much, I’ve realized that I need healthcare providers who will honor my needs and care about supporting my health. I know they are here, even though I haven’t found them yet.
A haiku inspired by Wendell Berry
All we need is here
Awaiting discovery
by the seeing heart.
One more Wendell Berry poem
I part the out thrusting branches
and come in beneath
the blessed and the blessing trees.
Though I am silent
there is singing around me.
Though I am dark
there is vision around me.
Though I am heavy
there is flight around me.
And goodbye
I hope you are finding what you need. This week, I called on the power of poetry to inspire me when I needed to be uplifted. Poetry is a gift, and I’m grateful to Poetry Friday for reminding me of that every week. This week, Carol Varsalona at Beyond Literacy Link is hosting–check out her blog and the links to other Poetry Friday poets, too.
I have a new dentist to meet, recommended by another friend–and I have a good feeling about him. And I’m planning to enjoy a few days between projects–taking it easy and working on a picture book dummy I’ve had in my mind for a while.
In the meantime, thanks for stopping by–and for reading my little rant!
xoxo
Having a delicate health issue makes life more difficult, especially things like going to the dentist. I hope your new dentist honors you and doesn’t compromise your health. You chose a beautiful poem. You are looking for the beauty, the silver lining, the hope. It is there.
Thanks, Margaret–I hope so, too. I want these things to be easy, but I think I have too much emotional stuff around all of this–especially dentists–to have it be easy. I’m hopeful about my second attempt, though.
I looked everywhere last week since you called me a neighbor, but couldn’t figure out where you are, & now I know! I wish it was closer for I’d share my own dentist with you, but it is too far. I hope this second dentist will be a good one & listen! It is hard to find all those ‘background’ people we are so used to. Best wishes, Susan. I like the poems you shared, true about what we need!
Thanks, Linda–if I can’t find anyone nearby, I may ask you! I’ve even been thinking of flying back to Chicago to see my dentist. But there must be the right person here–I just have to find them.
Wendell Berry does hit the spot when we need some inspiration. Thanks for sharing these today. Good luck finding those dentists and others who will listen to you. My daughter and I share autoimmune issues, too, and we just moved, so I am with on on this journey to find all those people we left behind.
Good luck to you, too, Kay. I had such wonderful caregivers in Chicago (both professionals and friends). I don’t miss life in the big city, except for them.
Susan, I thought I left you a message but see that I did not. Best of luck with your dental issues. I just put my implant to rest this spring. It was a long haul but it is done now. If you would like to take your haiku and add it to your photo that would make a wonderful #imagepoem for my fall gallery, Abundant Autumn. my email address is cvarsalona at gmail.
Thanks, Carol–and I’d love to be part of your gallery–I’ll put it together tomorrow and send it to you.