I learned a new word in honor of . Last time I did the A to Z blogging challenge, my word for X was xeranthemum (I was doing the alphabet in flowers)–but I had a hard time coming up with a word for my soul blossoming theme until I came across this word in one of my favorite magazines: Mary Jane’s Farm.
Are you xenial? Am I?
Xenial is a lovely word–and a lovely sentiment. But I’m not sure that I am a xenial person. If it means inviting strangers into my home, then the answer is definitely no. As a single woman who lives alone, I don’t invite people I don’t know well into my home. Still, when I’m out and about or here in my virtual home, I try to act hospitably to everyone I meet by smiling and saying hello. I do it here in Colorado–where it seems more people act xenially– I did it in Chicago and even in New York City, where my daughters insisted that it was inappropriate (and perhaps embarrassing–not sure). I’m a fairly quiet person, so my interactions tend to be the same–a little smile, a hello, that’s about it.
I found one quote about xeniality by Lemony Snicket (Daniel Handler):
“‘Xenial‘ is a word which refers to the giving of gifts to strangers. . . . I know that having a good vocabulary doesn’t guarantee that I’m a good person. . . . But it does mean I’ve read a great deal. And in my experience, well-read people are less likely to be evil.”
Funny, right?
my new welcome mat!
What does it mean to be hospitable?
I found this great quote from Ruth Soukup (of Elite Blog Academy, among other things):
“Hospitality is not about inviting people into our perfect homes, it is all about inviting people into our imperfect hearts.”
And when I read that, I thought: that’s what I’m trying to do right here in my blog. I spent so many years trying and pretending to be perfect, and now I’m embracing my own imperfection–which in turn gives me the space to embrace other people’s imperfections. And what could be more hospitable than that? Accepting people just as they are and just as they aren’t seems pretty darn xenial to me. And opening ourselves in that way creates a great opportunity for blossoming on all sides!
I’ll end with one more quote:
Hospitality means primarily the creation of free space where the stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy. Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place. It is not to bring men and women over to our side, but to offer freedom not disturbed by dividing lines.
Lovely post about a lovely word. I’ve struggled with shyness all my life, so my welcoming tends to be of the quiet nature. But I have great respect and admiration for those more exuberant souls who throw open the doors of their homes and hearts with unabashed ease.
I love both the hospitality quotes you shared, and I definitely see and feel the hospitality you offer through your blog and your writing. Xenial indeed.
I still struggle with shyness sometimes, although I’m more at peace with it these days. And I also admire those hearty, outgoing people!
Thanks for your kind words!
I am definitely NOT a xenial person, being that anything that involves strangers in my home is on my “No Way!” list. The hospitality portion though… Yes, I do a decent job of that, provided I have ample warning/planning time and I’ve actually, y’know, invited said hospitalitee into my home. 😉
I agree–I like to be prepared for guests. That includes both preparing my home and myself. When I was in college, I liked it when friends just drop by. But not so much anymore.
. Last time I did the A to Z blogging challenge, my word for X was xeranthemum (I was doing the alphabet in flowers)–but I had a hard time coming up with a word for my soul blossoming theme until I came across this word in one of my favorite magazines: Mary Jane’s Farm.
Lovely post about a lovely word. I’ve struggled with shyness all my life, so my welcoming tends to be of the quiet nature. But I have great respect and admiration for those more exuberant souls who throw open the doors of their homes and hearts with unabashed ease.
I love both the hospitality quotes you shared, and I definitely see and feel the hospitality you offer through your blog and your writing. Xenial indeed.
I still struggle with shyness sometimes, although I’m more at peace with it these days. And I also admire those hearty, outgoing people!
Thanks for your kind words!
What a great word!
I am definitely NOT a xenial person, being that anything that involves strangers in my home is on my “No Way!” list. The hospitality portion though… Yes, I do a decent job of that, provided I have ample warning/planning time and I’ve actually, y’know, invited said hospitalitee into my home. 😉
I agree–I like to be prepared for guests. That includes both preparing my home and myself. When I was in college, I liked it when friends just drop by. But not so much anymore.