Voice: 1 a: sound produced by vertebrates by means of lungs, larynx, or syrinx; especially: sound so produced by human beings
It’s V-day in Soul Blossoming A to Z
The end is near! Only four more letters after 
! This A to Z blogging challenge has been awesome–but I’m also just about ready to be done! Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving writing these posts, it’s just that I have a ton of indexing work right now and I’m tired–maybe I should reread my post on rest!
Finding my voice as a singer
I’ve spent a lot of time over the past 20 years or so finding my voice and thinking about “voice.” When I first started teaching Hebrew to the 3d grade in the Waldorf school almost 21 years ago, I wanted to include some Hebrew songs. I don’t remember what song I sang first, but I remember my feeling of terror at singing in front of 33 strangers, I remember my voice shaking so much that I felt sure no one could really tell what the melody was. I also knew that if I wanted to get over my fear of singing in front of other people, I had to just do it. It gradually got better. And, eventually, when I started teaching Early childhood classes 4 years later, I took voice lessons. That definitely helped. I’m never going to be a famous singer, but I find my singing voice pleasant enough and I can usually carry a tune. And I love to sing. I do it often–although not often in public, unless everyone else is singing, too. I’ve even made a few posts where I’ve recorded myself singing–like my version of the Waldorf birthday story (it has puppets and a story, too!)
Expressing myself as a writer
Finding my writing voice came more easily. I love the feeling of letting words flow directly through my fingers onto my computer or onto paper (I still write by hand sometimes, especially in the morning, and often I write poems by hand, too). Of course, my writing voice continues to grow and develop. And certainly some days I like it better than others. But I do feel able to express my true self through writing more and more.
Finding my voice as a human being
But for me, the biggest part of the journey of expressing myself–and one which is definitely ongoing–is finding the voice through which I express myself in life. This includes singing, writing, speaking, and actions. We learned in teacher training that the gesture comes before words in child development. When I’m conscious enough, I try to imbue my words and gestures with love and warmth, courage, truth, creativity. Once in a while, I achieve it. And I enjoy trying.
But I don’t think I’ll ever like speaking in groups. Speaking in front of groups can be ok, although I get really nervous. But I rarely speak in meetings of more than 5 or 6 people. I never used to raise my hand in class, even when I knew the answer. And I used to feel like I should–like I was not good enough because I didn’t speak up in those situations. I’m happy to report that I’ve made peace with my dislike of speaking in groups. And I’m here to tell you that if you don’t like it, that’s ok.
Have you found your voice?
What about you? Do you ever think about finding your voice? Did you have it from the beginning? Do you like to speak in groups of people? To write? To speak or sing in public? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.
And as always, thanks for stopping by.
xoxo
