Accept: to receive (something offered) willingly
Act: the doing of a thing: deed
Avoid: to keep away from: shun
(all according to Merriam-Webster)
Acceptance of self and the world
One of my themes for this year is acceptance. Allowing life to unfold in its own way. Accepting myself exactly as I am in this moment. Trusting that I am right where I need to be.
When I’m out and about, I tend to move slowly. I frustrate my mother no end when we’re getting ready to go somewhere because, in her opinion, it takes me way to long to get ready. Although you might not know it to look at me, I’m often in a hurry–at least on the inside. I want to get to the end–of my project, my book, the movie I’m watching–just tell me the punch line, already. I know it’s silly, and not ultimately satisfying. And I know that at the end of this life’s journey, we all leave this earth plane–and I’m definitely not in a hurry for that. I love being here! Thus my theme (and a great affirmation):
I accept myself exactly as I am. I am where I need to be in this moment. All is well.
Even with all my years of meditating, I’m still impatient in certain ways. I don’t like to rush to get places–you can ask my mom. In fact, one of the best things about working for myself is that I can have slow mornings. I love not hurrying out the door. And yet, inwardly, I’m in a hurry. I want to be on time; I want to do things right.
Flowers are healthiest when they bloom in their own rhythm
I know that this rushing doesn’t serve me. It helps me to think of myself as a flower. You can force flowers to bloom, but really, they are healthiest when they unfold in their own time. First, the root goes down, and then the plant goes up (do you know that song by John McCutcheon?)
Anyhow, I don’t think that a plant feels in a hurry to grow. It grows according to its own nature, shaped by the influences of soil, sun, and rain.
Truly, I’m not there yet, not by a long shot. But sometimes I remember to pause and feel the sun or the rain on my face, feel the earth beneath my feet, feel myself rooted in the earth. Other times, I’m too busy avoiding what I say I want to do to stop and smell the roses.
Acceptance and action–finding a balance
We are not plants, though. We’re not rooted in the ground, at least not literally. As human beings, we get to make choices and move from place to place. Finding that balance between action–trying to make things happen, to change what’s so– and accepting exactly is an ongoing challenge. But one well worth taking up.
I’ve been beating myself up for not doing enough these past few days (I do that too often). Then I reminded myself that I just moved across the country. My furniture and stuff arrived today (I get to sleep in my bed tonight for the first time in a couple of weeks–woo-hoo!). And it’s ok to be tired and unproductive–to allow myself to be where I am. To feel what I’m feeling. To allow myself to honor where I’m at–wherever that is.
When I pause to think about it, I think I do have a pretty good balance between allowing and acting. Balance moves constantly–it’s not static. Neither is acceptance; acceptance brings growth.
Avoidance
Let’s not forget avoidance. I’m writing this at 11 PM, after thinking about it most of the day. Writing this post has been on my mind, and I knew I’d do it, but I’ve put it off. Not until the last minute, but until the last hour. Allowing avoidance–honoring my resistance. Like a tiny plant that pushes against that hard seed, sometimes I just have to wait for time and earth to soften the walls a little–or wait until I absorb enough water and swell until I burst out of my shell (not necessarily a pretty image!). But I’m working on allowing all of myself, on accepting myself for who I am–the parts I like and the ones that annoy me (ooh–another “a” word!) or make me uncomfortable.
What about you? Can you embrace your avoidance, allow yourself to unfold–at least sometimes–and accept yourself for exactly who you are and who you arent? Do you want to? I do. I love being a work in progress (today, anyhow).
Thanks for stopping by.
xoxo
Stay tuned for letter B!
