Why Simplify–or “Y” is the most important letter in simplify

Finding the “Why” in Simplify

Why simplify? So many of us want to simplify our lives. 

Why has life gotten so complex? It seems that we spend our time complexifying our lives. But if we’re doing that, there must be something that we get out of that, too–even if we realize we don’t really want to make life busier and more complex.

What do we have too much of?

Kim Payne, who wrote Simplicity Parenting, talks about the four pillars of too much. Too much stuff, too many choices. too much information, and too much speed. You can read my introduction to Simplicity Parenting to find out more about his ideas. He wrote this book to support parents, but I believe that these same pillars apply to many of us–especially the more sensitive and empathic people among us.

Why do we have too much?

Often when we think about simplifying or adopting a minimalist lifestyle, we think about stuff. And goodness knows, many of have a lot of stuff. I do! But it’s not just about the stuff.

Brene Brown says that we live in a time of scarcity.  We feel that we don’t have enough, don’t look like we have enough to other people–and most of all feel like we aren’t enough. She says we wake up in the morning and think, “I didn’t get enough sleep. We go to bed at night and think, “I didn’t get enough done today.” I sure recognize myself there!

So we surround ourselves with stuff. We keep ourselves busy. Instead of looking withing, we look outside ourselves for answers to the important questions of life. And we rarely feel satisfied.

Why simplify? Kim Payne talks about remembering our hopes and dreams. These days, I think of simplifying as a way to find what is essential–to get back to my own essence.

I used to suggest to the parents in my classes that instead of giving their children a lot of stuff, they give them a lot of time and space in which to explore and play. I think it’s good advice for parents. And I believe it’s good advice for all of us. Not that I always follow my own advice, of course!

Living as a sensitive person in an often insensitive world

For those of us who are highly sensitive–or empaths–or both–we sometimes need to shield ourselves from the outside world. Some of us do that by eating too much and making our bodies bigger to protect our inner selves. Others of us hide behind our stuff. Or we may do both.

As I began my latest round of getting rid of stuff, I realized that I used my stuff to build walls of protection around myself. I had shelves full of books. I love my books, but many of them I haven’t opened for years and probably never would again, so I let go of a lot of them. Hopefully, they will find their way to someone who can use them. I donated them to Books4Cause which donates books to the African Library project and Bernie’s book bank. As I packed them up, I felt exposed and vulnerable. I realized that I used my books to show people who I wanted to be without having to expose my true self.

This realization surprised me. I felt like a veil had fallen from my eyes.

Digging deeper–fear of death and excesses in our lives

Even as we feel overwhelmed by the stuff in our life and the overload of information and busyness, still having so much gives us an illusion of security. We keep ourselves so busy that we can ignore our own mortality.

My own latest round of simplifying came after two people were murdered in my neighborhood. This happened almost exactly a year after my friend was killed in a drive-by shooting. Feeling the tenuousness of life caused me to pause and take a hard look at how I’ve been spending my time, energy and resources.

Even as I dealt with overwhelming fear, I reaffirmed my wanting to live and use whatever time I have in a way that’s meaningful to me. Emily Dickinson said, “In insecurity to lie is Joy’s insuring quality.” What I think she meant by that is that only in embracing the fleetingness of life can we truly find joy.

MC Richards on change and transformation

MC Richards writes eloquently about this in her book Centering in Pottery, Poetry, and the Person.

The earth has come into physical being; is eroding and reshaping continuously; will one day, we are assured, pass away. All forming, then, is transforming. But instead of experiencing this law of change with a certain pensive ruefulness as a sardonic triumph of man’s absurdity or as what is sometimes called man’s “tragedy,” we can experience change as a positive, creative, future-serving process…..

To commit ourselves to this process of transformation, firmly centered in our inner experience of law at work is one kind of freedom…Life has an open end: surely this is where freedom resides. For there is no freedom in attachment. The objects of our attachment depart from us, or we from them. Life’s impermanence commonly creates pain and anxiety, conscious or unconscious, for people tend to equate life with permanence. That is to say, if a thing is impermanent, it is subject to death. Death is the opposite of life, so ‘tis said. Therefore a desire for permanence and a fear of death are related. It is my perception that a basic misunderstanding can be corrected here, again, bu a process of centering, in which life permeates and terefore in a sense dissovles the concepts of permance and impermancence.

M.C. Richards

Why simplify?

There are many good reasons to simplify. I’ve been reading a lot of books on minimalism lately to inspire myself to let go. They all ask their readers to consider why they want to simplify.

To my mind, there’s not a wrong reason if it’s a reason that’s true for you.

For some people, minimalism means having 100 things or less or being able to carry all their belongings in a backpack. These ideas don’t float my boat. I’m a home body— I like to nest. But I admire people who have the courage to do what they believe even if it’s not what I would choose. 

And I admire people who live their lives as an adventure. Certainly, too much stuff, busyness, information, etc. can weigh you down on the journey. But where we draw that line is very individual. And it changes with time.

But for me, here and now, the answer to the question why simplify is simple–but not easy. I want to live life as fully as I can. I want to be truly myself–warts, weird ideas, and all. And too much stuff and busyness holds me back.

I have to say, that it’s really scary, though. Letting go, opening up–both make me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. But I’m also excited.

Where does it even come from?

I’ve been trying to figure out how I accumulated so much stuff. During college and the years right after, I didn’t have a lot of stuff. I rented mostly furnished apartments and for a while moved almost every year. When I moved to Chicago, my friends Rick and Wiley and I shared a U-haul and fit all of our stuff in it.

I think it must have happened after I got married and bought a house and had kids. We lived in that house for 14 years. When I sold it, I got rid of a bunch of stuff, but I still had way more than I needed. In the years since then, I’ve gone through several phases of paring down.

Almost 10 years ago, we had a fire in our condo building and spent 6 months in a temporary apartment. The fire was pretty traumatic, although no one was hurt. And we were lucky to have good insurance that paid our rent and rented stuff for us. We had little of our own stuff during that time. And we really enjoyed it.

What if…

What if instead of an abundance of stuff and busyness we created an abundance of time and space. 

What if we could find the courage to be ourselves, instead of fearing the unknown, fearing being judged and found wanting. Or what if we could find that courage even while we fear those things? That seems more likely!

And what if we could find others to share our journey with? To accept us for ourselves, to give us courage when our own fails?

That is what I wish for you. And I hope that I can support you on your journey.

In the end, it’s not about how much stuff we have or don’t have, it’s about living an authentic life.

So why simplify? If it helps to peel away the layers that keep us from our true selves, it’s well worth it. And of course if it makes your life better in any way, it’s worth it. Otherwise, I don’t think it’s a goal in and of itself.

What is your “Why” in Simplify? Is “Why Simplify” a meaningful question for you? Is it something you strive for or are working on? Are you there already?

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

And, as always, thanks for stopping by!

xoxo